British celebs you'd want on your zombie-fighting squad

British celebs you'd want on your zombie-fighting squad

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Image: Getty Images / Stuart C. Wilson
2016%2f07%2f01%2f55%2f201606015aphoto.f76c6.5e5dbBy Lindsay Davis2016-10-31 08:23:47 UTC

LONDON — Assessing an individual's merit based on whether or not you would consider selecting them for membership of your ideal post-apocalyptic survival squadron is a great way to quickly and comprehensively evaluate another human.

At least, that's how I do it.

Generally speaking, you'll want a mix of people that are: affable; optimistic; exhibit physical and mental endurance; demonstrate both specialist skills as well as the breadth of a generalist; picky eaters are a no; and fans of dystopian literature and The Walking Dead will likely be of use.

However, in theoretical reality, one would not have the luxury of choice; you're stuck with with whichever schmucks happen to be around when disaster strikes. (Tip: That's likely to be the people in your office, so it's smart to incorporate a zombie attack contingency plan in your emergency playbooks).

Nonetheless, it's a useful exercise in preparedness to mentally assemble teams of zombie conquering badasses. Plus it's Halloween — so let's practice using British celebrity figures.

Emma Watson — The fearless leader

Her time on 'Harry Potter' sets has undoubtedly lessened her sensitivity to grotesque creatures, too.

Her time on 'Harry Potter' sets has undoubtedly lessened her sensitivity to grotesque creatures, too.

Image: Getty Images / Pascal Le Segretain

Actress Emma Watson has proven herself to be a dynamic leader in her championship of gender equality, and has some badass boxing skills to boot.

Louis Theroux — The one with a knack for surviving

A Louis Theroux documentary about zombies would be killer.

A Louis Theroux documentary about zombies would be killer.

Image: Getty Images / Ben A. Pruchnie

This British filmmaker has put himself in some pretty uncomfortable and sometimes downright dangerous situations, yet somehow always seems to keep his cool — zombie attack applicability? I think yes.

Maisie Williams — The feisty heroine

Maisie Williams is as badass as her 'GoT' counterpart -- the intrepid Arya Stark.

Maisie Williams is as badass as her 'GoT' counterpart — the intrepid Arya Stark.

Image: Getty Images / Tristan Fewings

Besides being a badass in general, this Game of Thrones star's time spent roleplaying in Westeros could prove relevant in a dystopia scenario.

Ed Sheeran —The hilarious charismatic one

Gingers will need representation post-apocalypse.

Gingers will need representation post-apocalypse.

Image: AP / Eric Jamison

Ed Sheeran is the kind of guy that will make things seem okay even when they are clearly not okay. That's an important attribute for morale when faced with the end of the world as we know it.

Amal Clooney — The super-intelligent one

Although of Lebanese descent,  Amal Clooney also has British citizenship.

Although of Lebanese descent, Amal Clooney also has British citizenship.

Image: Getty Images / Chris Jackson

Amal Clooney has proven to be a formidable presence in the courtroom, and you will definitely want someone with her brainpower on your side when the beginning of the end arrives.

Jude Law — The gratuitous good-looking one

To be fair, I'm sure Jude has other talents, too.

To be fair, I'm sure Jude has other talents, too.

Image: Getty Images / Francois Durand

It's not that important to take world repopulation into serious consideration at this stage, but it doesn't hurt, either.

Idris Elba — The dynamic hero

Multi-talented people like Idris Elba are ideal when preserving human life.

Multi-talented people like Idris Elba are ideal when preserving human life.

Image: Getty Images / John Phillips

If Idris Elba's post-apocalypse survival skills are anywhere as wide-ranging as his acting capabilities, the man will undoubtedly come in handy.

The Royal Children — The future of mankind

Not particularly useful, it's true, but symbolically significant.

Not particularly useful, it's true, but symbolically significant.

Image: getty images / Chris Jackson

Prince George and Princess Charlotte might be short-term liabilities, but just because the future may be bleak doesn't mean we shouldn't plan for generations to come.

Nigel Farage — Bait

Politicians do not make good post-apocalypse  team members.

Politicians do not make good post-apocalypse team members.

Image: Getty Images / Matt Cardy

Just kidding.

Happy Halloween!

Topics: Apocalypse, british celebrities, Conversations, Halloween, UK, Watercooler, zombies

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